Important to Remember - Listen

 

No one will change anyone's mind by screaming at them.  Speak softly and then LISTEN and consider what they are saying - you might not be as far apart as you think.

Friday Musings - Unclenching slowly

 

St. Thomas More was celebrated this week and I always had a soft spot for this 'uncle'.  The week once more flew by.  My shoulder was still paining me so hubby did some cleaning out at Mom's place while I did phone calls and follow-ups at home, resting it.  

I filled out the forms after talking to a great lady at Teen Challenge Canada to get Mom's car out of the carport.  Even though she was no longer driving she kept the car there as if it was gone then the house would look empty and she was nervous about that.  I really don't blame her and thought it was a great idea but now it is time to donate it to a good cause.  All the paperwork is in and now just waiting on a call for them taking it away.  

After the car goes we can then get a dumpster and the clean out will go a lot faster.  Right now we can only put out four bags each week.  Tuesday when I went on my morning walk I went to Mom's and cleared out the fridge of all the yucky stuff and yes that meant bowls and all.  Out to the curb they went for pick up.  Her fridge is now empty and I feel really a lot better about that.  

I had been speaking with the people from the home and on Wednesday headed over for a visit.  Guess what?!?!  The doctors, nurses, caseworkers and everyone else involved were stunned to find out that Mom's dementia is a lot, lot worse than they thought and were wondering how she fell through the cracks.  I knew that was the case but no one really believed me so just said that she was very clever when it came to hiding it when she was in her home.  

There is now this big scramble to get her into a nursing home as she really does

need a lot more care than they can give.  Nope, not saying - I told you so.  Actually I did what I had to do, get her accepted in a home with the documentation that they had, let them find out and then get her placed in a nursing home.  Had she stayed in her home they would have left it for me to care for continuously for years until they had a placement.  The case worker thinks this last move will happen a lot sooner than expected.  Mom tends to wander in the night and scaring the other residences, kinda good because things will move swifter.

At first I felt bad because Mom was causing more work at the home and of course I was going to try to take on the guilt.  Nope, I got nudged to remember - I did what I had to do to get Mom the care that I couldn't give and that she really needed.  She was going to get a lot worse and a lot faster and being in her home would have been super dangerous.  There was no way to get her help as fast as she is going to get now.  

I texted with my sister (who always knows what to say) and I kept repeating - Not my monkeys to myself, which is what I do when I try not to take on more than I should.  My sister's reply was the best -   It isn’t your monkey at all, the system will take care of mom and get her where she needs to go. You’ve done all that you need to. Seriously, you’ve done a great job!!! She is safe, you no longer have the worry about finding her naked running down the street. Your job returns to being her daughter not her caretaker. I love you! You are amazing in every way! Time to just go with the flow and not stress over things you aren’t supposed to be in control of. It is okay to let it go as it is in God’s hands

if they need something from you they will ask

That gave me the insight of that it all unfolded in the best way to get mom the care she now needs and I was able to let go more completely.  I felt 100% lighter.  I had a nice visit with Mom as she was playing bingo and having morning tea and then head on my way to do other errands.  

So, yup there will be more calls and probably more appointments and papers to sign but that will be all that I will need to do which is a lot easier than actually taking care of mom.  One day at a time, one appointment at a time and I am sure that by the end of the summer, mom will have all the care she needs, her home will be emptied and back in the hands of her husband's family and there will be more time for hubby and I once more.  

  

Retro Walks - Turkey Point

When I was a kid, Turkey Point was pretty much just for the local area.  Tourist went to Port Dover and Long Point but we in the nearby counties all came here.  It was our hidden spot for the summer.  Nowadays it has been discovered too but then it was where most people could run into friends sitting on the beach.  Kids from school would gather during summer break.   

Newer stuff now but the park there was always filled with great equipment for kids to play on.  

A place for gatherings of those that lived here permanently.  

When I would come here in the summer the streets were lined with little cottages.  Some were winterized for those that stayed all year round, some were their summer homes.  Now bigger homes have invaded and taken over the streets.  There are still small places tucked here and there but somehow the 'bigger is better' has found it's way here. 

You can see the blending of the old and new along the way.

A seasonal church open during the summer months.

I still love these little places along the beach.  Some springs the water does come right to their front door.

But me, I love to watch the lake.  Lake Erie was where I spent a lot of my summers.  Sometimes in early spring or late fall there is something so special about sitting on the sand and looking out upon the lake.  

You can walk for ages just along the shoreline.  

One special view of the lake is at winter.  I actually haven't gotten pictures of it then but am hoping that I will get a chance soon so I can share it here.  How the ice forms with the waves, 

Ready for the summer now and I hope everyone has a blast.  A safe one as there are riptides out there but a blast nonetheless.  I will take my walks in the off season once more.