Robert and Alicia

Just a blog by Robert and Me (Alicia) where we share photos, family history, and just life in general with family and friends.

Monday, 13 January 2025

USian - by Robert

American is a name used throughout the world to designate someone from the US. Try not to get upset too much, when I say this word should be replaced. Here is my reasoning for the change. Chinese are Asians right? French, Germans, Greeks and so on, are Europeans. All the nations of Africa are Africans. See what I’m getting at here. I just don’t want us to be mixed up with the Mexicans, Argentinians and so on. United Statesman first came to mind, but it’s two words. It hit me last night, while I was trying to sleep. How about USian. Think about it, you have the US postal service. US embassies, see what getting at. “Sorry!”

Onto some things that would have to change. There is no room for discussions on the following. I will concede on the Stars and Stripes as a national anthem. However OH Canada will also be played at every state function.

The color of the state of Canada on every map will always be pink. I’ll explain why in a moment. Just want to tell you a little story beforehand. Many years ago, I took a thousand island tours. If you’ve never taken it, it’s as much fun as going to Niagara Falls. We had a great tour guide. Part of his speech included pointing to the smallest international bridge. Shortly after, he mentioned that you could see the border between US and Canada by looking down at the water in the St Laurence river. On the Canadian side the water was sort of graying because of the coldness, and the US side blue. You wouldn’t believe how many Americans looked down into the water. “Sorry!’ 

 Now getting back to my insistence of pink. This involves another story. While I was posted to Germany during the cold war, a friend of mine was engaged to a British girl. He asked myself and another friend if we could come along with him, to meet his future in-laws. The parents lived in a small town just below the Scotland. We were in a pub drinking beer, when the prospective father in-law asked how we got back to Canada. It seemed like some Americans, he didn’t really know much about Canada. As you’ve probably noticed in my writings, Canadians have a sense of humor. Now the other friend, who had been invited to join, began to reply “First off,

we fly or take a boat back to New York city.” He paused for a moment waiting for the question as to why New York. Since there were no questions, he went on. “From New York, we take a train or bus up to the border. Once we get across the border, we either rent or if we’re rich enough, we get on our dog sleds and mush to wherever we live.” Now the father in-law seemed to start thinking we were pulling his leg. “But what about all those buildings we see on the telly?” He asked. My friend replied. “Well we paint the ice blocks.” Then he added. “You do know why Canada is always colored pink. This is a known fact, that at sunset, just as the sun is at its lowest in the west, the snow and ice turns from white to the most beautiful pink.” So when you Yanks come up in July, with skis strapped up on the top of your cars and feel embarrassed, when we laugh. “Sorry!”

Another thing, we have two official languages and a fondness for our natives. This will have to be enforced at all federal agencies. Let's start with French. I prefer the term Canadien. None of that Parisian French. You know who speak Parisian French, those who live in Paris. I’ve been to France, toured Marseille. It's just a little different. Whenever I hear a Canadien speak Parisian, it always gets my goat. Just imagine a Brit teaching English to a Texan, and you’ll understand what I’m getting at. Up this way the common language of Franglais and Joual. Franglais is easy to explain. You have a conversation, you can either start it with English or French words, it doesn’t matter what order, because somewhere in the sentence you will change to the other language and back again. May seem confusing but with a little practice you’ll get the gist of it. Joual is a little harder to explain. Let us start with Joual, now the proper Parisian word would be cheval, meaning horse. Whether you say cheval or Joual, it’s the same. Don’t worry we have a Joual dictionary with all the Joual words. You may have to write to the National library, to get a copy, but I’m sure they have at least one. Come to think about it, we could have a lot of unemployed federal and provincial employees, become teachers and or start a printing company for Franglais and Joual dictionaries. See, I’m always thinking ahead, these folks can’t all be on unemployment benefits, it would ruin the country.

Before I forget, a law should be introduced. No spraying of fur coats or any other animal hide with paint. I would go as far as having the person who does such a grievous act, be made to strip naked and be sprayed from head to foot on a daily basis. The number of days would depend on the fur. This country was built on its natural resources including the fur and pelt trades. I would even go as far as only allowing the natives to hunt these animals. Somehow, the white man just doesn’t get it. White men seemed to hunt to have trophies hanging from their walls. I’ve never seen a bison head hanging from the wall in a teepee. Come on people, use up all the animals, stop the extinction of the animals. Natives hunt for survival. A good example is the muskox. We had to send some to Russia a few years back. Why you may ask. Some bozzo convinced everyone that muskox oil added to perfume accentuated the person’s individual scent. I have a very sensitive nose. Yes, there was a slight scent of the perfume, but the person’s odor was also quite noticeable, in fact most smelled like an armpit that hadn’t been washed in weeks. Look at the Inuit, they use all the seals they kill. (I knew I would get my seal skin boots somewhere again). Back in the sixties they came out with sunglasses that were tinted, but leaving the center part clear. Guess where they got that from. You're right, the Inuit with bone specks. Notice I didn’t call are far north brothers and sisters Eskimos, remember it’s not PC. It didn’t help the Edmonton Eskimos of the CFL, when they changed their name to Edmonton Elks. Ever since the name change, the team dropped in the league standing. Almost as bad as the Toronto Maple Leafs of the NHL. To paraphrase the words from the movie Twisters, LOOSERS! “Sorry!”

I’m really and truly glad that we are now recognizing the various native languages. But we have to go a little further. We must find a way to be able to communicate with them. Perhaps we should devise a way of making communication easier without having to learn the various languages. I was thinking of China, they have mandarin and cantonese. The emperor who invented Chinese writing was really smart. There I go again, another idea for those unemployed from the various federal and provincial employees.

It’s almost naptime, not to mention the pain in my neck and shoulder from looking down at the keyboard. Man, I miss the old typewriter

Lots more to come

Love Be.



2 comments:

  1. LOL! Ah, yes, I am a member of the European-American student association (a TikTok creator makes a similar argument to Robert's, about the term "African-American" converting a widely diverse population to a whole continent name). Most white folk in the US balk at using "European" the way "African" is used. The point about using "American" in a similar way in taken.

    Onward... keep writing, Robert.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, will do and more to come on this subject and then onto other ideas. Have a great day!

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